It was 31st December 1997 evening I reached his disciple’s house with the address given to me. When I entered the house , I saw swamiji at the dining table. I sat on the mat spread on the floor and waited. Swamiji seems to be at the end of his dinner . Within five minutes he came to the chair kept specially for him and sat. He signalled to me to come closer. I went and sat on the floor to his right. His disciple . one young lady came and asked me whether I would like to have coffee or tea. Swamiji immediately said that she would love to have coffee, make it for her. I was surprised that swamiji knows my preference. He briefly said he was staying there on their request. After half an hour of sitting Swamiji said he would go inside and I can rest and relax. Feeling his love and affection I touched his feet. Before going swamiji said Happy New Year. The lady disciple enquired my whereabouts and said swamiji was unusually happy to see me. Long back I saw him in Rishikesh, a fleeting glance I had when I peeped into his office and stuck by his grace and beautiful form. There was some unknown attraction in that personality which pulled me. I was in spiritual quest and seemed to be passing a dry phase of spirituality. I was thirsting for guru’s grace and spiritual illumination. I have spent at least seven years longing for guru’s presence. I could not visit ashram. I was married and doing a job. I was many a time forced into wordly activity. Not that I was not worldly. While living in the world full of activity what else one can be but being worldly. Amidst of that I would live in my own spiritual world whichI have created for myself. When the air touches me it was as though my god is saying hi to me. When I long for my god I would tell myself that he has become my saree and wrapped me around in himself. I would pray to the earth I was walking. I would sit before Television to satisfy my husband and would think of God. Probably I was mad to do these things but some force had taken control of me and I would think of God all the time. It was at that time my guru tested me briefly before bringing me into his physical presence.

I slept that night peacefully. Next day we were ready by the time Swamiji came out. We all had coffee together . Again he came out at ten o’ clock. After breakfast swamiji sat. I was left alone with him as the lady had to do some work. Then he gave me initiation and told me to press his hand at the points he indicated. I did as told by him. From then on these points in my hand got activated and I receive cosmic energy through these points in my hands. Next day I left for my mother’s place. There also my spiritual experience continued. I was feeling crawling sensations on my body.

Later in August swamiji came to Bangalore to stay at uncle’s house. I invited Swamiji to come and stay with us for four days. Swamiji agreed. Those were moments of bliss for me. I invited a few friends to come home and take his blessings. On that day Swamiji switched on the television and watching ramayan. It was sabari inviting rama. I was in the kitchen cooking , but could hear the story. Suddenly all that longingI felt for my guru overwhelmed me. I started crying silently. Swamiji came into kitchen to enquire what I was cooking. I wiped my tears and then and there fell on his feet and did pranams.

Next day we all sat for lunch when uncle rang up and said he was coming for swamiji’s darsan. I kept the cooker again to cook extra rice so that I can give them Prasad when they come. The cooker was whistling but it did not enter my ears. Swamiji turned to me and said three whistles are over now you can switch off gas stove. I felt thankful that he was alert to my absentmindedness

There was a saree shop whose owner was of great help to me. I was fond of sarees but saree purchase was not the only thing that connected me to him and his family. He had lot of respect and affection and helped me throughout my stay in Bangalore. On his request I took Swamiji to his shop and we bought some sarees which swamiji gave to us and blessed. My husband was scared that I would turn too very spiritual. He told Swamiji that he was not looking for moksha. Swamiji had his style to deal with such ignorance. He would not enter into discussion with such people. In every situation he had his method to deal with different people who are on different levels. He could see their past present and future as clearly as we see this world but used to be his simple self loving and caring guru to all of us. Many a time swamiji would make me sit in his special chair meant for himself. Once after having meals together he took my hands and washed them in the washbasin. I remembered Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples.

Whenever swamiji had a test for me he would end the conversation with the phrase All The Best. When I plead I cannot pass his test without his grace he would add “God Bless You”. I feel he is everything to me and would unendingly wait for the days when I will be in his presence. Even now death is a welcome event for me because I believe that I would lie in his lap after I leave this body and he will be there to take my spirit and soul into his arms. In this changing phenomena of life and death, my relationship with him is unchanging over all the lives. He told me that we were together in two previous lives. With him around and with his protection I neither worry about life nor death. Knowing such a person is the summum bonum of life. I felt having spent a few days in his presence the purpose of my life is fulfilled. Now what happens in this life is his grace and Prasad. I have great respect for him but he would insist that obedience is better than reverence. His last words to me were All the Best three times uttered. That has made me alert in my behaviour and attitude to the world. There are so many snares and attractions. So many snakes and ladders. So many pitfalls. Sages say eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. It is razor’s edge. I remember here the words of rev swami krishnanandaji maharaj. You cannot even take your body. The spiritual path is too narrow. Rev Madhavanandaji often would say that it is easy to laugh when everything goes smooth but the real strong man will laugh in adversity also. He used to quote ”dheerasya avruta chakshu amritatwamichhan” i.e the real courageous fellow with wide eyed search will like only immortality and eternity.

Once uncle asked me a question. He said “ramani , you got mantradiksha from Swami Krishnanandaji maharaj but now you worshipSwami Madhavanandaji.” He asked me this question before Swamiji. I told uncle that Swami Krishnanandaji maharaj is my guru but Swami Madhavanandaji is my God. Swamiji was like an ocean unfathomable but simple like a child. There were many facets to his personality. He was stern and strict as a guru. Many a time I was afraid to approach him. He was serious and gambhir. But I have also seen a very doting father and affectionate indulgent mother in him. He remains as my best friend forever. He was calling me pet names. He would call me pokiri., golden baby and swarna kamalam.

During those days I would cry persistently seeking his physical presence. Everyday I would go to uncle’s house to have his darsan. Swamiji used to take me for evening walks and once when we heard the koil’s voice he turned to me and said ‘you are my koil.

Swamiji never wanted publicity. Many of his photos or lectures are personal properties. There was no desire in him to earn name and fame. He was silent in his ways and that has charmed me. He would feel comfortable anywhere and accepts people. His one minute irritation is turned into infinite compassion and friendship as soon as the disciple recognises his or her mistake. He needed no explanations. At the same time he was very smart and intelligent in his ways. If we think we are smart before him, slowly we would realise who is smarter. Many of his actions and decisions when I see in retrospect had emanated from great wisdom and concern and care for the disciple. He would know what is in our minds. For our questions we would get answers in our own mind in his presence. Many a time when I went to him with some question in mind, sitting in his presence the answer used to come out of my mouth. I feel it was the lord who came in his form to bless me. My implicit faith had been vindicated time and again.

When I came to know that swamiji left his physical form, tears welled up in my eyes. When I was crying,I heard him say “oh I died and you are crying” I started laughing hearing that. Many time his spiritual presence and his voice has come back to reassure that he is in me and around me .In one of my episodes of crying I got up and went to wash basin to clean my face. Suddenly I was not there. It was swamiji standing there and blowing the nose. These many experiences assured me that we are not separate from each other. This feeling was the best gift he gave me. Coming to gifts he has given me, I have his coffee tumbler, some of his clothes and a keychain on which the name madhavi is inscribed. Madhavi was my pen name and I have written a few poems on god and spirituality which swamiji had read. I still have the keychain and wonder at his thoughtfulness.

Amidst my personal misery sometime ago once I was returning from work in a rickshaw. The situation of life was bleak and depressing. I thought ,wasn’t there a golden lining to the dark clouds in life. I casually looked up into the sky and lo there was a series of dark clouds in the sky with golden lining all over due to the sunset. I felt mother nature was reassuring me in that way that the problems would be over . Later on also my relationship with mother nature became very profound.

When Swamiji came home once he saw my hand and said that I have bright and peaceful life ahead. I always remember those assuring words and get solace.

When I look back upon the days I spent in the presence of RevSwami MadhavanandajiMaharaj ,I feel I am extremely lucky to have met Him . When I heard that Sri Dakshinamoorty teaches in silence I wondered how teaching is possible without the help of language. I understood the Dakshinamoortytatwam when I saw Swamiji.,my thoughts and questions on spiritual matters used to be answered in my mind only. Gradually I could understand this silent communion. .A guru like mine does not need speech to teach his disciples.He is Dakshinamoorty personified. Swamiji is calm and unassuming. However he has extensive spiritual powers.He did not give lectures. But he did saktipaathi.e transfer of spiritual energy. I felt this in his presence manytimes. Swamiji has beautiful smile and he has all the sixteen kalas in his personality. Manytimes he used to appear as Balakrishna. One of our elderly disciples saw him as Dattatreya. . Swamiji had all siddhis which we experienced now and then. But we were immediately used to be engulped in his divine maya , When he was in body we only had rudimentary knowdge of what he actually was. Now his grace is experienced by us and we wonder how lucky we were to have beheld him with our eyes. For swamiji it is our love that impressed him. He once said that obedience is better than reverence. He wanted us to be humble so that we grow spiritually. He never demanded respect. He said oncethat his life is his message. Swamiji always shared and cared for people around him. He accepted food given to him as prasadam and would share with his disciples before eating it. He was always caring. Once for dassehra some of the devotees offered him some money. Swamiji went out without telling anyone and bought gifts in a near by shop. He came back and distributed them among all of us along with his blessings. Once swamiji smilingly told me that the worldly gifts are not so significant before the spiritual gifts which he can give us. The meaning of this was revealed to me only oflate. I know that swamiji considered himself as a slave of his devotees. It is only love divine that could bind him. He enjoyed our simple love and gave everything in return to us. We lack nothing materially or spiritually. Having such a guru in life there is nothing we want further. He is like kalpataru. Swamiji is truly lord krishna. Once i was sitting at his feet and suddenly saw in his eyes a glitter and light as if srikrishna had come to earth. Then it occured to me that he is krishna himself. Twice in my association in a rare moment swamiji told us candidly that he is krishna and he is Gopala. Inspite of being supreme self swamiji never revealed his glories often. Only Very close observation indicated only a semblance of his greatness. Swamiji never cared for money. He never critisized anyone. He had great love for the world. He is personification of grace and karuna. He never looked down upon anyone. He was in high spiritual state and full of teevravairagya. Inspite of being so however swamiji used to conduct himself gracefully. He would deal with people with love and tact. Swamiji had sweet voice and in younger days he used to sing well. Later also when swamiji conductedsatsang we were charmed by his voice full of detachment. Swamiji was very knowledgeble. The essays he wrote show his intellectual mastery. But he never wrote books. He told me once that knowledge is like ocean and like hamsa which can separate milk and water, one should know what is worth taking and what is to be discarded. Swamiji is a beloved son of H.H.Swamisivanandamaharaj. Swamiji mentioned that his guru had special love for him. He once said that he and his guru are one. Swamiji had no body consciousness. However his movements were majestic and his talk and walk are full of divine grace. Inspite of being godly, swamiji was not desiring comforts. Once I saw him keeping his clothes in a half torn bag. It agitated me. I transferred his belongings into a decent suitcase and brought with me that torn bag. I still have this bag with me as his prasadam. He personified the knowledge that worldly comforts and riches are not the ones to be pursued. He always adjusted and accommodated. He travelled by train only. Any surroundings congenial or not any people who may or maynot his disciples, comfort or discomfort he suffered without complaint. Such a person who was born in a rich family among luxury and who studied engineering in those days and who gave up all this to pursue spiritual path at a young age, it cannot be understood what he is made of. He is a wonder to me. Swamiji knows very good english. His manners are very polite and decent. He was specially kind towards the poor. Swamiji's needs are very limited. He absolutely had no desires. He accepted one and all. He is our father, mother , guru and god. Observing swamiji is like reading aupanishad. Truly his life is his message. I feel his presence constantly. I carry his teachings, his love and want to be like him. He is mine and I am his and we both are one and one only.

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Smt. Ramani Jayaram garu

I saw Rev. Madhavanandaji Maharaj briefly when I first went to sivananda Ashram in 1988. Then I was attracted to his cheerful silent form. Later again I had his darshan in 1998. The second time provided me an opportunity to see various facets of his divine personality. At the end I could not but conclude that he is God walking on earth to uplift souls like us. At one point he told me that his life is his message, coming into contact with such towering personality is due to the punya of so many lives. He is strikingly kind and compassionate. He is mostly silent but in his presence answers used to appear in my mind for the various questions I wanted to clarify. His affection and compassion for his disciples is boundless. The dignity and power he emanated every second is to give us confidence to grow into someone like him. Whatever may be the situation he never lost his cool. His sweet voice is rooted in deep detachment. His voice reflected vairagya and it transported us into divine realms when he sang. For me he is all powerful Lord Krishna who walked amidst us and uplifted us. His love is that of a thousand fathers and mothers combined. When the whole cosmos danced at his feet he remained like a simple person, humility personified and wanted welfare of everyone around him. He took our sins, removed our karma and blessed us. He is gift given to mankind by gurudev swami Sivanandaji Maharaj. Can we talk and describe an ocean? Can we measure it? Swamiji is like an ocean. Whatever I write about him cannot fully describe his magnificent personality. He belongs to all of us and to each of us he is one's own. He is now every where with every one all the time. He is my sadguru and I feel grateful and fortunate for having known him. No words can describe what I feel about him. May his grace be every upon all of us is my prayer.

(Written on the occasion of 5th punya thithi Aradhana {3.3.2010} of H.H. Swami Madhavanandaji Maharaj)
Rishikesh - 3rd March 2010 - 5th Aradhana of H.H.Swami Madhavanandaji

I met my Guruji H.H.Swami Madhavanandaji for the first time on September 1984. I came to Divine Life Society in Rishikesh with a group of European yoga teachers selected by our organizer, Gerard Blitz, who was the president of U.E.Y (union European of Yoga), great teacher in Indian philosophy and devotee of Swami Krishnanadaji Maharaj. When I came, I was 42 years old, following a personal inner sadhana, learning close to many lecturers, monks and philosophers, but I did not want to be "engaged" in any mission nor to become a "devotee" of anybody, thinking I could find by myself the right path. May be it was pride? I did not know but I was seeking heartfully, thinking I was the master of my boat. At this period, one important question was in my mind and I was never satisfied by the answers received from others.

I was sitting in Samadhi Shrine in front of an orange pillow and Swamiji came and sat down on it, looked at me intensively and gave me THE ANSWER I was expecting since so long time! I was touched and felt a huge attraction, like a magnet , a divine pulse. In fact, God sends you where you have to go.

Two days after, it was possible to have a meeting with the three Masters (Swami Chidanandaji, Krishnandaji, Madhavanandaji) in their respective kutirs - I went to meet Swami Madhavanandaji, the Vice-President of D.L.S., with a group of 8 people only - I did not ask any question and he wanted to talk with me. I obeyed him - Since that moment He is always talking slowly with me and inspiring me even after his body passed away 5 years ago. The connection between us is for ever. After this personal meeting, He gave me "intimation" with the name of Yashoda. I have accepted willingly and chosen my Guru without any pressure or persuasion with a total faith and surrender - it was God's Grace.

Since this moment I came every year for one month and half to be with Him, sharing every moment with Him, everyday meeting, everyday walk, every day meals, everyday puja and ritual ….. from morning to evening. When I was in France (I was Yoga teacher and lecturer) I received his letters, some were very short but with the exact answer to my problem or question….even sometime, I did not want to mention them !

After my husband's death I left my job and stayed longer with Him, travelling in South with Him and in his last moments when He was in the hospital I came especially from France and I stayed a week with Him before coma started. It was not a separation, just a "Reliance"

For his first Aradhana, they asked me to talk about my Guruji during satsang - I only said : "I am not sad, because my Guruji is in every cell of my body, in every beat of my heart, in every silence and in every act. How can I be separated from Him? Impossible

- Guru is always and for ever with me. His grace always flows - He was simple and He was a king - He was my father and also my son (because He gave me the name of Yashoda), my teacher, my guide, my love, my Krishna embodiment - His divine love never binds me, it makes me free."

I am very grateful to the higher Self to have put me in His holy and divine company

Yashoda Micheau

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